Our advice for air travel with kids

Since we've had to do a lot of traveling lately (I think our little 7 month Joseph has been on about 14 flights by now) we have learned a lot of lessons of what NOT to do when traveling with kids. Here is our advice so you can learn from--or laugh at--our mistakes.

Here is our advice for air travel with kids:

P A C K I N G

1. Use a master packing list
If you haven't heard of this concept before, it will change your life. Basically you make a list of everything you need for any type of trip, and save it on your computer (you can find a basic template here). Then when it comes time to pack for the trip, you print off the master list and customize it for your current trip by crossing off anything you do not need. It saves so much time. We have a master packing list for each person.

2. Pack the day BEFORE
With kids it takes forever to pack. If we don't pack the day we usually end up showing up late for our flight so we have learned to pack the day before. Do all shopping needed the day before. Also tell your airport ride that you are going to leave 30 minutes before you actually need to leave so they are there and ready to help you get the gear in the car.
Since you are packing the day before you need to set out two sets of clothes the day before: one for the next day and another set for the flight (we have a specific plane tracksuit for Andrew).

This is why we have to pack the day BEFORE.


3. Pack the diaper bag first
The diaper bag is the most important so it needs to be packed first. Think through your trip and put all the toys, DVDs, snacks, milk, diapers, etc that you need in first, so you don't end up accidentally packing them in the checked luggage.

We have two kids, so we pack two diaper bags. Mike takes care of Andrew on the flight so he has all of Andrew's stuff (including the Wall-e DVD & size 5 diapers), and I take care of Joseph on the flight so I have all of Joseph's stuff (including the nursing cover & size 4 diapers). Include a change of clothes for each kid packed in a small packing cube (more on packing cubes later).
We got a backpack for my travel diaper bag which is much better, especially because it frees up your hands to hold your baby, and when walking down the aisle you don't smash into everyone on the aisles with a hanging bag.

This is why I use a backpack as a diaper bag (no hands available!). The nursing cover is on the outside pocket so I can whip it out at a moment's notice.


4. Put your name and address on each piece of luggage before you leave your house
Every item (including car seats and strollers) need your name and address. Believe me I have forgotten to do this and I had to write our address over and over again while Joseph and Andrew screamed for attention at the ticket counter. Learn from my mistake: do it beforehand.

5. Pack all of your clothes in packing cubes
Packing cubes are the solution to messy, full-to-the-brim bags that explode when you open them. We have at least one packing cube for each person, so all of Andrew's clothes go in one cube (see what packing cubes look like here). It keeps similar items together, and allows for a very organized bag. (Thanks E&C for opening our eyes to this concept!) They do cost money but they are worth it. I like the ones from Eagle Creek better than the ones I bought from Rick Steves. Mike uses the packing folder for his dress shirts so they stay perfectly pressed and compact. Worth the $.

6. Pick the right luggage
You may already have stuff that works for you, but when you travel as much as we do we have really thought about each luggage purchase. We have really thought through our luggage, and we use:

1. The Northface Recon backpack in black for my diaper bag (I put our diaper/wipes caddy in the outside netting so I can pull it out asap)
   
2. REI Wheely Beast 35": We have two large expandable REI bags that we use as our kid's bags. Compression straps cinch the load down tight (so we have more space if we pick up more things).
3. Car seat gate check bag: Reusable car seat bags (so our car seats don't get dirty and so we don't have to pay $5 for a flimsy plastic bag at the airline counter)

My mom is standing with our international luggage in the below picture. You can see we have the normal boxy luggage (in blue! always get a color OTHER THAN BLACK if possible), the expandable REI bag, and then we keep Andrew's bottles milk in a little cooler bag (bottom right in pic). Security has to open and test each bottle so we keep them out in a separate bag.



L O G I S T I C S

1. Talk through every minute of your trip with your spouse (esp. the security line)

• Label passports, flag the second page

Problem: On our first trip we fumbled around with our passports at the security desk and annoyed those in the long line behind us. First of all, we have four passports that have to match up to one of four tickets. They all look the same so we were always giving the wrong one at the wrong time. Second of all, the new passports have your picture now on the SECOND page, not the first page, so it takes longer to find the page to show the security person.

Solution: I put our names labeled on front, and added a tab so I can flip quickly to the photo page. It saves us.

• Keep all passports together in passport carrier:

When we're in the airport I am a total nerd and wear our passports hanging around our neck. It saves so much time from pulling them out of some random bag each time we have to show them.

• Try the drugs out beforehand

If you are planning on giving your kid Benadryl, check with your pediatrician to know how much to use, and try it out on your child a few days before. It actually makes some kids more hyper instead of sleepy.


O N T H E P L A N E

• Smile at everyone, make friends and eye contact. Then they won't be as mad if your baby is not perfect.
  
• Backpack works better as a diaper bag. Okay I mentioned that a few times already.
  
• Little toy bag: I make a small narrow bag full of little airplane toys and put it in the seatback pocket in front of me. It stays there the whole flight and I pull out toys when I need them--then I don't have to bend down, pull out the diaper bag from under the seat, pull out the toy, then push the diaper bag back. I use a clear bag from a Clinique free gift, but any see-through narrow bag will do.
  
• Flye Baby: If you have a small baby, this product works for small babies in economy class. See here. It keeps your baby off your lap so your hands are free. Figure out how to use it ahead of time.
• Make an airplane book with your kid's picture: Our speech therapist made us an "Andrew is going to Malaysia" book. Using pics I gave her of Andrew traveling, she made a step by step book of what Andrew was going to experience on the plane trip. Ex. page one: "Andrew is a big boy. He is going to Malaysia!" (pic of Andrew), page two: "Andrew is going to fly on a BIG plane" (pic of airplane), page three: "On the plane Andrew gets to watch Wall-e and color" (pic of Wall-e and some crayons). You get the idea. She printed it off on printer paper, laminated it, and put a ring around it so it was a book for us to read to Andrew before, during and after.
  

Enjoy the ride: My last bit of advice is have fun. Enjoy your travels. Airplanes are so exciting. If you smile a lot and have a good attitude, your kids will pick up on that and enjoy it so much more.

Bon voyage!

Malaysia week one

We are finally settled into our temp housing here in KL. Now it is time for us to begin real life. Here are a few of our adventures our first week.

Here are some shots of our weekend afternoon pool hangout. Joseph is sitting in front of me on the beach chair and Mike was running around after Andrew.


Monday morning at 9am we had our first occupational therapist appointment for Andrew. It was at Prince Court Medical Centre--which happens to be smack in the center of KL--and driving there for a 9am appt meant we would be traveling during the worst morning commute traffic. (Side note: Prince Court is a bit of a drive from our temp housing now, but once we are in our permanent housing--hopefully within the next few weeks--we will only be five minutes away from Andrew's appts.)
I told Mike to let me drive since I am very gung-ho about learning to drive in this city. If I am going to have to do it, I may as well do it well.
Here we are merging onto the persiaran (highway). The fact that we have made it this far means I have made it past the giant fast-paced five-way roundabout.
I made it all the way to Prince Court and then at the very last turn to get to the building, guess what--I missed the turn! It is a tricky U turn where you have to get all the way to the left (but I thought it would be on the right since the U turn would take me to the right). Anyway, the point is that it was confusing. But instead of being able to correct my mistake, the road turned into a tunnel, which turned into a freeway, and before we knew it, we were rushing out the other side of the city! There was no way to get back without sitting in all the traffic all over again.
Sigh, sigh, sigh.
So we ended up just driving out of the city and rescheduling our appointment. Instead I drove Mike to work. It was quite the dramatic morning. I was so upset because it was all my fault that I missed the turn.

On a happier note, it was fun to see where Mike works. Here is Mike's office. It's at one of the universities they own, so the Asia HQ office is inside one of the campus buildings.

Here we are with dada at the office! Joseph was so happy to be there. Actually I think he was just so happy to be out of the car.
Andrew wanted to dial numbers on all of the phones, and open up all of the locked drawers using keys. On a totally random side note, Andrew counted to 35 yesterday. I am so proud.

Here is Joseph with Linda, Mike's assistant.
Here is a the obligatory shot of Mike at his office.
I had to get a shot of our giant car in the college parking lot. Do you see how precise my parking job has to be?
So fast forward to Tuesday morning. We rescheduled the appointment to Tuesday, I made the drive all over again (by myself this time), and we finally met OT at Prince Court Medical Centre.

Here is Mr. Lan with Andrew.
If you notice in the picture, Andrew is standing on a balance bar that rocks back and forth. Mr. Lan had Andrew put puzzle pieces in a wooden puzzle while maneuvering back and forth with his feet. Talk about serious coordination!
He also made Andrew do all sorts of things that he hated, like unwrap silly putty from around his hand, crawl through a tunnel ten times to carry number pieces from one side to the other, and open and attach clothespins to a piece of red plastic. As time goes on these sensory-type activities will help Andrew organize himself better, leading to better ability to complete tasks, better eye contact, and more language.
Andrew and I actually have homework assignments too.
We had a little bit of drama after the appointment with insurance. I am learning that international insurance is much different!
You can't just hand the desk your insurance card. You are supposed to contact the insurance company yourself at least 48 hours before your appointment to get a LETTER OF GUARANTEE. Then you pay by physically giving the letter of guarantee to the front desk. I didn't know this, so of course I had no letter of guarantee.
I had to go to this special front desk called "Insurance" and they called the insurance who said that I would have to pay for the appointment this time, then submit a medical diagnosis and treatment plan in writing from the OT, and if they do decide to cover the OT visits, I can submit a claim. Oh the drama.
So I was all stressed because I would have to pay for the whole visit myself, but it turns out the visit was only 130 MYR, which is actually only like $40. So it wasn't that big of a deal.
Above is a photo of the inside of Prince Court.
Side note: The good news is that we just heard back from the insurance that they will cover the visits 80%.

The below pics are of Andrew and I playing at home.

He loves to throw rocks into water but I only let him throw rocks into this one fountain. There are so many water features around (pools, fountains, etc) that I have to really regulate his rock throwing.
He loves to sit and kick his feet in the water in the kid's pool as evidenced by the above and below picture.
He also loves the "rock walk" (as I call it) which I think is really just some architect's idea of turning a sidewalk into more of a zen-like calming experience.
Andrew has made some other friends in the building, You can see three little boys in the pool and on the sidewalk in the pic below. The lady on the left is Alan's maid. She is from the Philipines. Many of the maids here are Filipino.
Again, Andrew kicking the water. You can see my stroller in the background where Joseph is sitting watching all the action (in the shade of course).
Lastly I thought I'd take some pictures of Andrew in his room. Both he and Joseph are sleeping in pack 'n plays until their cribs arrive. When Andrew wakes up early in the morning, I open his big drapes and he likes to look at all the lights. "Light on! Light off!" he says, pointing to specific apartments.
He lays on the bed in his room and reads his books, especially his latest favorite book--the touchy-feely animal book with the "cow-moo-moo!" and "Wooly" the fuzzy sheep.

He also loves the book Going to Sleep on the Farm. It's funny but I never realized how western-centric our books are because there aren't any farms with pigs and sheep here in Asia!
Alright, here's to more adventures next week!
Goodbye or should I say
"Selamat Tinggal."

Pics of the long flight over

We had three seats at the bulkhead and a bassinet for Joseph. In the pic below the bassinet is on the left sticking out of the wall. Once Joseph is asleep you are supposed to buckle him in with the straps you see below.

They gave us these big beige blankets to sleep with. Andrew kept wanting to climb over Mike to get out to the aisle but for obvious reasons we wouldn't let him.
We made a friend our flight that had a child the exact same age as Joseph! I thought it was a boy but it turns out she is a girl. Oops. Her name was Hosannah. They were from a small island in Indonesia by Bali.

We have learned during layovers to look up to see if the airport has a play area (so far the Hong Kong and Taiwan airports do).
The one in Taiwan was sponsored by Hello Kitty so everything was pink. It was quite humorous. Andrew was pretty slap happy by this point so he was running around laughing.
Next we moved on to the EVA lounge. We had some free food, filled up all of Andrew's bottles, and called our parents.
The next flight (Taiwan to Kuala Lumpur) had a very empty business class section so we had the place to ourselves. Andrew fell right to sleep but getting Joseph took some work. Mike is best at getting Joseph to sleep so he got the job.

Here you see Andrew asleep on the right and Joseph trying to reach over to grab him. Joseph's favorite thing is to try to grab Andrew (including his hair).
Still not asleep...
We finally made it to KL and checked back into our Temp housing. Then the next day we went house hunting. We left Andrew with Helen and brought Joseph. All the real estate agents love to play with Joseph while we are checking out the unit.

We made it to Malaysia

Where are the pictures?
I can't find the camera cord! I've taken a ton of pictures already (including Andrew playing in the candy pink children's play area during our Taiwan airport layover--sponsored by Hello Kitty of course, and vids of the house hunt--to die for!) but I can't load them onto the comp. Ugh.

Here's the update:

1. The Flight:
We flew on a cheaper carrier (EVA instead of Cathay) than our first flight out, so the business seats did not lay flat, which means Andrew did not sleep as long as he should have. He is obsessed with Wall-e now, so he ended up watching Wall-e pretty much non-stop. We had a layover in Taiwan for four hours but the plane was delayed so the layover turned into five hours. We spent our five hours either in the business lounge (they have free food! including divine chocolate swiss ice cream), playing on the pink Hello Kitty play area, and going up and down the elevators (another adorable Andrew obsession).

2. Our new home:
We arrived and hired the biggest cab van we could find and loaded our baggage (I think we checked 9 bags in addition to our 5 carry-on bags). We learned that on international flights you have a higher weight limit per bag--65 instead of the standard 50. That saved us.

We made it to our tried-and-true temp housing in Mont' Kiara and discovered that a. the elevators on the main floor aren't working until Saturday, and b. the gas stoves won't work until Friday (To quote Mike's dad Joe, "Are you kidding freaking me?"). Oh, gotta love life in a foreign country.

3. Our maid:
So Helen came the next day and saved us from the disaster of unpacking 14 bags with two kids. We had taken everything out already and organized it (okay, dumped it into piles) so she set about doing all of our laundry. She also helped me by watching Joseph so I could catch up on rest because I was up all night with the kids. Thank you Helen.

Side note: Having a maid is one thing that I am just completely in awe of, and will never ever ever ever take for granted. I can't believe that we have a maid, and I still don't know how to ask her to do things. I feel so bad every time!

4. House hunting:
Mike took off yesterday afternoon from work and we saw three final places. We have our #1 picked out so now we enter into negotiations with the landlord. I will post videos.

5. Next up:
I took Andrew to the neighborhood nursery school this morning. It was from 9am-12pm. There were kids from all over the world (Sweden, Latvia, Tunisia)! Next week I have appointments with the Occupational and Speech Therapists at Prince Court Hospital.

Our month's rental car was dropped off yesterday. It is a not-cool-but-functional Nissan van with a steering wheel on the right side of the car (gasp!). I made Mike, Helen, and the boys come with me to learn to drive on the right side of the road and it was quite the adventure--including but not limited to the freeway roundabout with five entry points.

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Okay I know no one will read this post because there are no pictures (I never read lengthy blog posts without pictures!) but as soon as I get them onto my computer I will post them. Stay tuned.

Malaysia Q&A

Q: When are you moving to Malaysia?
A: Next Saturday. We are here in Baltimore this weekend to meet the movers and ship our stuff out. It is very complicated because we have three shipments: KL by air (takes a week or two to arrive), KL by sea (takes a month), and domestic (shipping our stuff that we don't want to take back to UT of CA).

Q: Will you have a car?
A: Yes we have a monthly car allowance so we need to figure out whether to buy one or just lease it. Cars here are really expensive since they charge a stiff import tax. AND I have to learn to drive on the left side of the road! That is my first task for next week once we arrive.

Q:Where will you be living?
A: Since our visa took so long to come, the place we had picked out was rented so we have to go house hunting again. It shouldn't take much time this time around since we think there is another unit in the same building that we already picked out. In the mean time, we will stay in the same temporary housing as before.

Q: Where will Andrew go to school?
A: KL has top notch international schools (that seem to come with a top notch price tag). When Andrew gets to preschool age in a year or two, we will probably pick between International School of Kuala Lumpur (which is American) and Alice Smith School (which is British). I was looking up cost tuition for "Prep Reception" as they call Pre-K and it is about $11,000 (choke!). Luckily Mike's company helps.

Q: Where will you shop?
A: We will just shop at the normal grocery stores which have the best names: Cold Storage, Mercato, and Carrefore. Although they have a ton of markets and Helen (our maid) promised to show me how to shop for fresh meat and produce at the markets. Most buildings also have a "truck lady" that comes down to the parking garage once a week and you can buy all your groceries from her. And I have heard if she doesn't have what you want, she will get it and bring it the next week.

Q: What about clothes and other shopping?
A: They have ever name brand here you can think of (Top Shop, Coach, MAC, Gap, etc). And the funny thing is the high end stores like Gucci that are empty in the US are packed in KL. Our realtor Dolly explains that shopping is the Malaysian national sport. I walked into the Gap last time we were in KL and the prices are a bit more expensive than in the US, so we stocked up on most of the clothes we need here. They also have several Toys R Us stores but everything is really expensive so we tried to get a few toys that Andrew will want in the coming year here in the US (ex. little bike).
**Side note: I personally think it is ridiculous that is not cheap to buy clothes in KL when they are practically MADE there. **

Q: What do they speak?
A: Bahasa Malay and English are the main languages but most people also speak Chinese. From what we've found, most of the cab drivers speak English and most of the signs are in English. That makes it much easier for us.

Q: How do you feel about moving? Are you nervous?
A: I have to say I get some very funny reactions when I tell people we are moving to Malaysia. It is usually one of two reactions. The first reaction is a shocked look that says "are you crazy?" I get comments like "Wow you are a really nice wife, I would never do that;" or "I don't even know where Malaysia is on the map." I try to just laugh the "are you crazy" reaction off. It helps to calm them down when I tell them Malaysia is really nice and clean and people speak English and we will have a maid and our kids will go to world class international schools and cutting edge hospitals and I can still get my hair highlighted. Usually that calms them down.
If I don't get the first reaction, I get the second reaction "wow that's really cool." Although it is far less common I prefer this reaction because then I don't have to work so hard to convince the person that we are not crazy.
But to answer the question, no I am not nervous, I am very excited. I think the best way to describe it is a California girl's dream. Warm weather & tropical beaches...what more could you ask for?
I can't wait to have our own place with our own stuff and to be over all our jet lag. Hopefully that will be soon!

Update on Andrew

So we have mere days left before we fly to KL for real. In the mean time, we have been in the US getting things ready and have been taking Andrew to therapy. It turns out he has Sensory Processing Disorder and some signs on the Autism Spectrum. We have been dealing with a lot and decided it is finally time to share with our friends what is going on.


SENSORY PROCESSING DISORDER
Andrew has always been in his own little world and does cute things like step on our feet, lean on our backs, and sleep really well through all sorts of noise. He also loves to give us head bonks (instead of hugs or kisses), and is very attached to his bottle and will not touch soft, mushy foods (like yogurt).

After much evaluation, we have learned this means is a hypo-sensitive kid, which means it takes more sensory input for his brain to register touch. He has low muscle density. This is opposite from the kids who freak out when their shirt collar rubs them the wrong way or when someone tries to hug him.


TREATMENT: We take Andrew to an Occupational Therapist twice weekly. We do all sorts of cool things like jump into ball pits, push giant balls up big ramps, and swing on super-body-enveloping Lycra swings. He loves it, and it is amazing the change we have seen in him already.

At home we have to do what is called a daily "Sensory Diet." We have created a whole obstacle course for him that involves proprioceptive, vestibular, and tactile input. He crawls through the tunnel, jumps on the bed, slides down the slide, etc. He has to do it five times and each time he puts one of five blocks in the bucket. When he gets down to the last block he knows he is done.

It is actually really fun. I was totally overwhelmed at first since having a diagnosis of SPD right before an international move is really scary (plus Andrew is also going to speech therapy) but we have found a bunch of really good places in Malaysia to check out once we get there.

**On a side note, I really wanted to put this on the blog because I keep reading all this reseach and experts think that many more kids have SPD but their parents don't know it. Pediatricians still don't know much about it. They just think their kid is out of sync, or has quirks, or is not coordinated, or breaks into tantrum for apparently no reason, etc. It is totally treatable and early intervention is key.**


AUTISM SPECTUM (Red flags)

Andrew has not been officially diagnosed with Autism, but he in all our evaluations he shows some red flags--things like poor eye contact, being totally object focused, and lacking some simple social skills such as waving good-bye.


TREATMENT:



We have also been in therapy for this and my absolute FAVORITE tool they have taught us is "Floortime" by Stanley Greenspan (also known as the PLAY Project). We are supposed to do 20 minute sessions 6-8 times a day (yeah right like we can find the time right now) but we do it a bunch and hopefully when we get to KL and things settle down we can really focus on creating good "circles of communication."

I bought a laminating machine (only $40!) and have been putting into practice all these cool techniques that I have been learning that help with focus, language, etc.

I have also been doing a ton of research on Autism (I have been reading prolifically about Autism and SPD. I have learned the best way to cope is arm yourself with knowledge!) and I have loved the book Facing Autism. It tells the story of a mom going through the process of her son getting the diagnosis of autism and then gives resources available to help heal him. I highly recommend it, along with the site autismspeaks.org.

The biggest thing I have learned is Autism is treatable (it is not a death sentence) and early intervention is key.


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Okay I know that was a lot of writing but I thought it would be good to put it on the blog and get it out in the open. We are still excited to move to KL and I will blog about my story of finding good occupational and language therapy in a foreign country.

The movers are coming on Saturday to pack up and move out all of our stuff! This is really happening. What have we gotten ourselves into...?

All I have to say is this is my new motto:

"Come what may and love it."