Malaysia Q&A

Q: When are you moving to Malaysia?
A: Next Saturday. We are here in Baltimore this weekend to meet the movers and ship our stuff out. It is very complicated because we have three shipments: KL by air (takes a week or two to arrive), KL by sea (takes a month), and domestic (shipping our stuff that we don't want to take back to UT of CA).

Q: Will you have a car?
A: Yes we have a monthly car allowance so we need to figure out whether to buy one or just lease it. Cars here are really expensive since they charge a stiff import tax. AND I have to learn to drive on the left side of the road! That is my first task for next week once we arrive.

Q:Where will you be living?
A: Since our visa took so long to come, the place we had picked out was rented so we have to go house hunting again. It shouldn't take much time this time around since we think there is another unit in the same building that we already picked out. In the mean time, we will stay in the same temporary housing as before.

Q: Where will Andrew go to school?
A: KL has top notch international schools (that seem to come with a top notch price tag). When Andrew gets to preschool age in a year or two, we will probably pick between International School of Kuala Lumpur (which is American) and Alice Smith School (which is British). I was looking up cost tuition for "Prep Reception" as they call Pre-K and it is about $11,000 (choke!). Luckily Mike's company helps.

Q: Where will you shop?
A: We will just shop at the normal grocery stores which have the best names: Cold Storage, Mercato, and Carrefore. Although they have a ton of markets and Helen (our maid) promised to show me how to shop for fresh meat and produce at the markets. Most buildings also have a "truck lady" that comes down to the parking garage once a week and you can buy all your groceries from her. And I have heard if she doesn't have what you want, she will get it and bring it the next week.

Q: What about clothes and other shopping?
A: They have ever name brand here you can think of (Top Shop, Coach, MAC, Gap, etc). And the funny thing is the high end stores like Gucci that are empty in the US are packed in KL. Our realtor Dolly explains that shopping is the Malaysian national sport. I walked into the Gap last time we were in KL and the prices are a bit more expensive than in the US, so we stocked up on most of the clothes we need here. They also have several Toys R Us stores but everything is really expensive so we tried to get a few toys that Andrew will want in the coming year here in the US (ex. little bike).
**Side note: I personally think it is ridiculous that is not cheap to buy clothes in KL when they are practically MADE there. **

Q: What do they speak?
A: Bahasa Malay and English are the main languages but most people also speak Chinese. From what we've found, most of the cab drivers speak English and most of the signs are in English. That makes it much easier for us.

Q: How do you feel about moving? Are you nervous?
A: I have to say I get some very funny reactions when I tell people we are moving to Malaysia. It is usually one of two reactions. The first reaction is a shocked look that says "are you crazy?" I get comments like "Wow you are a really nice wife, I would never do that;" or "I don't even know where Malaysia is on the map." I try to just laugh the "are you crazy" reaction off. It helps to calm them down when I tell them Malaysia is really nice and clean and people speak English and we will have a maid and our kids will go to world class international schools and cutting edge hospitals and I can still get my hair highlighted. Usually that calms them down.
If I don't get the first reaction, I get the second reaction "wow that's really cool." Although it is far less common I prefer this reaction because then I don't have to work so hard to convince the person that we are not crazy.
But to answer the question, no I am not nervous, I am very excited. I think the best way to describe it is a California girl's dream. Warm weather & tropical beaches...what more could you ask for?
I can't wait to have our own place with our own stuff and to be over all our jet lag. Hopefully that will be soon!

Update on Andrew

So we have mere days left before we fly to KL for real. In the mean time, we have been in the US getting things ready and have been taking Andrew to therapy. It turns out he has Sensory Processing Disorder and some signs on the Autism Spectrum. We have been dealing with a lot and decided it is finally time to share with our friends what is going on.


SENSORY PROCESSING DISORDER
Andrew has always been in his own little world and does cute things like step on our feet, lean on our backs, and sleep really well through all sorts of noise. He also loves to give us head bonks (instead of hugs or kisses), and is very attached to his bottle and will not touch soft, mushy foods (like yogurt).

After much evaluation, we have learned this means is a hypo-sensitive kid, which means it takes more sensory input for his brain to register touch. He has low muscle density. This is opposite from the kids who freak out when their shirt collar rubs them the wrong way or when someone tries to hug him.


TREATMENT: We take Andrew to an Occupational Therapist twice weekly. We do all sorts of cool things like jump into ball pits, push giant balls up big ramps, and swing on super-body-enveloping Lycra swings. He loves it, and it is amazing the change we have seen in him already.

At home we have to do what is called a daily "Sensory Diet." We have created a whole obstacle course for him that involves proprioceptive, vestibular, and tactile input. He crawls through the tunnel, jumps on the bed, slides down the slide, etc. He has to do it five times and each time he puts one of five blocks in the bucket. When he gets down to the last block he knows he is done.

It is actually really fun. I was totally overwhelmed at first since having a diagnosis of SPD right before an international move is really scary (plus Andrew is also going to speech therapy) but we have found a bunch of really good places in Malaysia to check out once we get there.

**On a side note, I really wanted to put this on the blog because I keep reading all this reseach and experts think that many more kids have SPD but their parents don't know it. Pediatricians still don't know much about it. They just think their kid is out of sync, or has quirks, or is not coordinated, or breaks into tantrum for apparently no reason, etc. It is totally treatable and early intervention is key.**


AUTISM SPECTUM (Red flags)

Andrew has not been officially diagnosed with Autism, but he in all our evaluations he shows some red flags--things like poor eye contact, being totally object focused, and lacking some simple social skills such as waving good-bye.


TREATMENT:



We have also been in therapy for this and my absolute FAVORITE tool they have taught us is "Floortime" by Stanley Greenspan (also known as the PLAY Project). We are supposed to do 20 minute sessions 6-8 times a day (yeah right like we can find the time right now) but we do it a bunch and hopefully when we get to KL and things settle down we can really focus on creating good "circles of communication."

I bought a laminating machine (only $40!) and have been putting into practice all these cool techniques that I have been learning that help with focus, language, etc.

I have also been doing a ton of research on Autism (I have been reading prolifically about Autism and SPD. I have learned the best way to cope is arm yourself with knowledge!) and I have loved the book Facing Autism. It tells the story of a mom going through the process of her son getting the diagnosis of autism and then gives resources available to help heal him. I highly recommend it, along with the site autismspeaks.org.

The biggest thing I have learned is Autism is treatable (it is not a death sentence) and early intervention is key.


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Okay I know that was a lot of writing but I thought it would be good to put it on the blog and get it out in the open. We are still excited to move to KL and I will blog about my story of finding good occupational and language therapy in a foreign country.

The movers are coming on Saturday to pack up and move out all of our stuff! This is really happening. What have we gotten ourselves into...?

All I have to say is this is my new motto:

"Come what may and love it."